pants on fire.

i had a "phone" interview with Dick's Sporting Goods this afternoon.

aka a touchtone survey regarding lying and stealing aaand lying about stealing.

"do you lie?"
"what percentage of people do you think lie?"
"have you ever lied to your employer?"
"do you steal?"
"have you ever shoplifted before?"
"what percentage of people do you think steal?"
"do you think its alright to steal from your employer?"
"have you ever stolen a gun, murdered your parents and lied about it?"

this lasted for about a half hour.

and i passed their tricky mindgame/booby trap and have another interview on thursday.

interesting.

70 year old trapped in a 21 year old's body.

every monday night at 9pm I watch 24.

it is the only show that i watch religiously every week.

well last night, at around 830, while waiting for 24 to come on -- I fell asleep.

and at midnight I woke up.
looked around.
looked at the clock.
muttered "crap.."
and went back to bed.

i feel like an old man-- falling asleep while waiting for his favorite program to come on.

looks like Im gonna have to download this episode.

legally of course.

limewire is legal, right?

pfft.

DONT JUDGE ME.

How much does this suck?

wnba legend.

Tonight i watched some of the replayed nba all-star festivities and i noticed that Stuart Scott called Lisa Leslie a "wnba legend."

and i thought...

is it really possible to be a legend of the wnba? or even a superstar?

if a tree falls in a forest and noone is around to hear it. does it make a sound?



i like to think i am an avid, knowledgeable sports fan.

i watch sportscenter, pti, and around the horn. i read the articles on espn.com. i even read the newspaper sometimes. and i couldn't name a single team in the wnba.

the anchorage bruts?
the duluth huskies?
the tallahassee sweet-thangs?

so not only do i hate fat people but i am sexist too.

you are learning alot about me.

prediction for tonights episode of 24.

after being mugged by his sister...



Lynn McGill will overcome the odds and pursue his dream of playing college football for Notre Dame...



despite being reintroduced with a former love interest.

super bowl extra-lame.

congratulations pittsburgh.

you won the most boring superbowl ever.

the most exciting play of the evening was Brady's coin-toss.

neither team should be proud of how they played tonight.

-hasselbeck sucked. (although, he got cheated on two horrific calls)
-roethlis-not the next brady-berger sucked even more.
-shaun alexander was hardly a most valuable player.
-polamalu and joey porter didnt do anything.
-bettis fell down everytime he touched the ball.
-jerramy stevens dropped 19 catchable passes.
-bill cowher was ugly.
-mike holmgren did a great andy reid impression.
-only one commercial made me laugh out loud.
[when the guy speared the girl playing football]

The turning point in the game was the phantom holding call against seattle after a 17 yard completion that wouldve put them inside the 5 yard line. And most likely wouldve ended up taking the lead 17-14. But instead, Hasselbeck through an interception two plays later and Pittsburgh put the game out of reach.

That horrible holding call was the deciding factor in a game where two teams failed to do anything worthwhile.

This is why the Patriots should be in every superbowl.



That is, when the referees dont screw their chances too.

super bowl extra-large.

A superbowl without the Pats.

Pretty depressing.

I really dont have much of a desire to watch the game, and i honestly could care less about the outcome.

But i will watch it anyway because only dweebs dont watch the superbowl.

(yeah, you Pete.)

Deep down i know Pittsburgh will probably win, but i will be cheering for Seattle because i am sick of all the "experts" like Sean Salisbury or Ron Jaworski who say Roethlisberger will be the next Brady if he wins one championship.

I also hate the idea of someone this ugly being called a winner.



what i would like to see happen:
seattle: 31
pittsburgh: 17

what i think will happen:
seattle: 21
pittsburgh: 24

*but any idea of Roethlisberger becoming the next Brady will be thwarted when the Patriots go undefeated next season.

#1 single

Since I've been taking a break from college-life, I have had plenty of time to catch up on things that I have been [voluntarily] deprived from the last 2 and a half years.

and when I havent been looking for a job, painting my room, or checking my myspace--- I have found myself watching endless amounts of tv.

I am and always have been a big fan.

I will admit, however, that most shows arent worth watching or paying any attention to.

One of those shows is called #1 Single, which ironically has nothing to do with music but with being single. Lisa Loeb has seemingly become very desperate to find a husband in her mid-30s and is using a reality show on E! to purge us on her sad quest to date geeky, jewish middle-aged men with no personality.

It is retarded, yes.
But entertaining? like a car accident on I-95.

I would marry Lisa Loeb. If she was about 15 years younger.



If I was 40 and still single, and someone like Lisa Loeb was THAT desperate, I would be on a flight to LA in a heartbeat.